Two Press Releases and Bad Copywriting

Compare these two artifacts that came from the gods of corporate communication:

“We strive to quickly leverage existing competitive data to allow us to interactively restore long-term high-impact opportunities to meet our customer’s needs. The customer can count on us to interactively engineer cost effective information in order to seamlessly simplify high-quality data to set us apart from the competition.”

and

“Microsoft today announced a set of broad-reaching changes to its technology and business practices to increase the openness of its products and drive greater interoperability, opportunity and choice. These changes are codified into four new interoperability principles and corresponding actions: 1) ensuring open connections; 2) promoting data portability; 3) enhancing support for industry standards; and 4) fostering more open engagement with customers and the industry, including open source communities.”

The former is from the Dilbert Mission Statement Generator, the latter—from Microsoft (hat tip to Bill Zack). I am thoroughly enlightened now.

Will those people ever learn to speak like humans?