There’s an article by Erin Kissane at A List Apart which appeals to me in more ways than one. Take a minute to read Attack of the Zombie Copy. Erin explains, in brief terms, how to deal with incomprehensible language only nerds and engineers can understand. You see this language everywhere: web sites, user interfaces, mission statements, marketing slicks, etc.
Dilberts Hard At Work
Ironically, I’ve brought up this subject a number of times here. For example, see my earlier posts Too Much Noise, Too Little Signal and Mission Statements Are a Joke.
Guys at 37signals also talk about it in their book Getting Real (see the Copywriting is Interface Design essay):
You need to speak the same language as your audience too. Just because you’re writing a web app doesn’t mean you can get away with technical jargon. Think about your customers and think about what those buttons and words mean to them. Don’t use acronyms or words that most people don’t understand. Don’t use internal lingo. Don’t sound like an engineer talking to another engineer. Keep it short and sweet. Say what you need to and no more.
I doubt I need to present an argument that the simpler the language the better. Can you figure out the jargon doctors, lawyers and financial advisors use? Do you think they can figure out our jargon?
When you encounter one of those Our mission is to continue to globally enhance mission-critical sources such that we may continue to quickly utilize error-free technology for 100% customer satisfaction,
you know you’re looking at a zombie copy.
Copywriting in Small Steps
Often times similar language leaks to UIs. Small businesses probably can’t afford to employ professional copywriters, while the majority of businesses that can simply underestimate the power of clear language.
Would it be a stretch then to suggest that every developer be a copywriter? I think it’s feasible. You don’t have to become a professional copywriter, of course. You eat an elephant one bite at a time, so start small.
Write Complete Messages
If you display an error message, append “So what?” to it and see if the verbiage is clear the and message is complete. Explain the course of action.
For example: “Page not found.”—“So what?” Don’t leave the message open-ended and the user bewildered. Add a word or two suggesting that you’re doing maintenance and will be up within 30 minutes; or invite the user to look through archives or run a search.
Wouldn’t kill you to set up a custom error page that emails you those 404s while displaying a friendly message to the visitor. Humor is good in moderate dosages only. You can get fancy and feed those 404s back to your own search page.
The More You Say the Less People Hear
Web sites suffer from fluff even more. Text is cheap, scrolling is easy. Plus, some people are obsessed with filling the white space. White space is good! White space is your friend!
As Erin notes, it’s tempting to just start writing, but this approach can leave your pages vulnerable to zombification, because it’s easier to sound like you’re making sense than to actually make sense. And once this happens you see a web site produced by a bunch of Gilberts.
How many multi-billion-dollar industries are poised to emerge by 2008? How many industry leaders and premier providers are out there? How many most advanced and most cost-efficient solutions are offered? Anybody buying it?
During a recent makeover of our site (I’ll give you a link once we’re done) I literally printed every page and went through it with scissors. What passed the “fluff test” was put on a large whiteboard, organized and grouped by topic.
Next, we wrote out a list of forbidden expressions. For example, nobody is allowed to say “industry leading”, “unparalleled flexibility”, “cost-effective solution”, “most advanced” and so on. Setting these ground rules gets everyone on the same page.
For example, saying that our product is “cost-effective” means nothing. The fact that it reduces the volume of calls to a help desk by 30-40% has a lot more appeal. As Jeffrey Fox put it in How to Become a Rainmaker, Dollarization is the Rainmaker’s edge. It is more effective to do the math and say “This air conditioner saves $14 a month in reduced electricity bills” than to say “This air conditioner is energy-efficient.”
Amazingly, only about 20% of content was left after this surgery. We ended up with much clearer concepts and ideas. Mostly signal and very little noise—a great place to start fresh. It even helped us extract a more powerful positioning statement.
Be Relentless
You need to chop unintelligible language relentlessly. I’m pretty sure you will encounter resistance because a jovial copy is usually a product of people higher up in the ranks. It’s obvious to you and me that convoluted wording is a turn-off, but to them it sounds “professional” and big. The “professional” argument is usually laughable, but nobody laughs.
You’ll need to come up with a way to present text revision as a benefit. Unfortunately, I don’t have a list of 10 killer arguments. Find an angle and work it. But if you go down this path, be unforgiving to fluff!
